When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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