Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
