just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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