your thong is hanging out like whoa
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
