too bad you live with your parents still
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Drunk is not a location!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
