exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
