you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
