AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
