Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize