I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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