I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just had sex bonerless
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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