my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize