if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize