A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
