her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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