I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize