don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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