I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
