So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
