it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
