Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
