it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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