Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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