I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
