we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
