Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
