Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
