Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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