your room smells of hookers.
And success
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize