shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
