i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
