I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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