maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
