wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
