You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
