party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
