I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
