Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
