I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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