It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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