So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Houston, we have a squirter
Vodka?
Forever.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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