I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
