he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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