My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
