I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
