He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
