It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
