man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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