So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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