Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
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