Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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