he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
