He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
