i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
