my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
