Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
