how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
