i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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