He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I am midnight drunk by noon
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
