sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
