Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I need to sanitize my soul.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
