I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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