PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
