Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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