his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize