GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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