I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
