She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
