I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
