Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
