I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
