Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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