Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
