My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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