i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize